Don't Be THAT Guy!

On a project team, it’s often easier for your teammates to get you fired (or re-assigned) than to learn to live with your annoying habits.  Job security is all about getting along and fitting in, so you do not want to be the most annoying guy  on the project team.

It’s also about recognizing that you probably are that guy sometimes and being a little bit more patient with your colleagues as a result.

Pontification Man – This guy goes on and on, telling you what he’s going to say, saying it, and then telling you what he said.

Um Man – To avoid losing control of the conversation, this guy fills every pause with “Um,” not realizing that he might be able to think better if he weren’t talking.

Too Much Detail Man – ‘nuff said

50,000 Foot-Only Man – He is eloquent when you talk about the big picture, but refuses to allow anyone to get into the details…which we all know is where the real work gets done.  Unless you’re the CEO of a multi-national corporation, you have to be willing to work at any altitude.

Hypnotized-by-Email Man – If you go to the trouble to think of a meeting topic, send out an invitation, invent an agenda and prepare slides, you naturally expect the people who show up for your meeting to pay attention while you talk.  Wireless technology has made it possible for people to multi-task very effectively, but there is nothing more defeating than presenting to the tops of people’s heads because everyone at the conference table is hunched over his laptop.

Buzzword Man – This guy is annoying in meetings, in team rooms and in cubicles.  In fact, this guy is just plain annoying all the time.

Foul Language Man – Much like Buzzword Man, this guy is obviously too lazy to think of the right words to express what he thinking, if indeed he is thinking at all, but this guy isn’t trying to impress you with his knowledge.  He isn’t trying to impress you at all.  He doesn’t care what you think of him.

Reiteration Man – If the only contribution you have to make in a meeting is to restate what has already been said, you don’t have any contribution to make.

Too-Busy-To-Be-Prompt Man – If you are always late to every meeting, there is something wrong with the way you manage your schedule or your time.  Fix this behavior.  It’s rude.

Can’t-Control-the-Meeting Man and his arch-nemesis, Wants-To-Take-Over-the-Meeting Man

Secondary-Conversation People – These folks are only annoying if their conversation is less interesting than the meeting.

Disagrees-With-Everything Man – This guy honestly believes he is just being practical, or serving as the Voice of Reason, or playing Devil’s Advocate.  This may be true sometimes, and even helpful occasionally, but when it becomes a habit, everyone else just tunes him out.  Don’t give up your influence by being this guy.

Obscure Metaphor Man – This guy is as annoying as the fool in a troupe of Morris dancers. (See?  Wasn’t that annoying?)

Project teams often work together in a team room, rather than in individual cubicles or offices.  Sharing workspace creates its own unique opportunities for annoying work habits.

Gum-Smacker – Some people can chew gum and no one even knows they are doing it.  If you aren’t one of these people, be prepared for complaints.  It’s surprising how many people list this as their only pet peeve.

Bloviating Man – This guy can’t stop talking.  The dictionary defines bloviate as “to speak pompously and excessively”.

Too-Much-Information Man – He tells long stories about his personal life, in excruciating and embarrassing detail, distracting everyone from work and preventing others from telling interesting stories.

Intrusive-Personal-Life Man – His wife calls three or four times every day, and he always takes the call because there is always a crisis at home.  His mother has shingles and his dog chewed up the power cord for his company-issue laptop.

B.O. Man and his wife, Too-Much-Perfume Lady

Instant Best Friend – Joining a new project team or workgroup, particularly in a new company where you don’t know anyone, is often intimidating.  People are more likely to help you if you are generally self-sufficient.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help, but don’t become so clingy that you annoy people.

Constant Cougher – There’s illness and then there’s the nervous cough.  If it’s illness, go home.  Germs spread faster in a team room than in a daycare center.  If it’s a nervous habit, you are probably annoying people.

Constant-Humming Man – You either think this guy doesn’t exist or you’ve seriously considered killing him.

Smokey the Bear – This guy is never around because he’s always standing outside the building surrounded by other smokers.  If you think you’re annoyed, just imagine how the guy who pays his bill feels.

 - Excerpt from Everyday Practices of Extraordinary Consultants by Christine Lambden and Casey Conner. Available here.